Posted by: Daisy | January 8, 2009

Closet

I’ve tried losing this baggage
For more than 20 years
You’d think it’d be long gone
Yet, there it hangs zipped up

The colour doesn’t suit me
The size is way too small
The style is well out of date
The cut is all wrong

It hurts me to simply see it
Itching at my flesh
I’m stronger than that, I know I am
Yet it throws me into doubt

How do I let go of the hurt
How do I untangle the mess
How do I throw what doesn’t fit
Without throwing myself out?

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | July 21, 2008

All that I’m worth

If reincarnation were true
If tomorrow were my last
I’d wish upon hope to return
To gain all that I believe I’m worth.

To be loved obsessively
To be cared for incredulously
For jewels to be adorned
On my neckline for all to see.

Spa treatments daily
Wait, why not twice a day
Soft cozy, warm beds
Throughout the entire place.

Lavish fragrant foods,
Set in the fanciest of dishes
And staples like old fashioned turkey
At Christmas and Thanksgiving too.

Wow me, dazzle me,
Show me off to visitors
Take care of me like none other
Your furry feline friend.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 29, 2008

If this is it…

I don’t need to live longer
I am good with the money
My car runs well enough

Old friends reminisce
Relatives come with food
Spouse worries about loose screws.

Children yammer ’bout nothing
Grandchildren too
Great-grandchildren just say ‘boo’.

They’re bland, they’re boring
They think I’m an old man
Don’t they see the truth?

Limit my time
Limit my space
I will still be me

Alive and kicking
Young at heart
Sky-diving for all to see.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 19, 2008

The Trip, #3

We ignored the trespassing signs and decided to climb over the rickety fence. There was no one in sight, and it looked like nobody had come through this area in a long, long time. We also knew that if anyone asked, we could easily just say we were lost – afterall, we were in a way lost already. The map flew out of the open window only a few short hours before, and we hadn’t had a chance to get a new one.

We began walking along an old path that had been overgrown with all the surrounding vegetation. For a brief moment, I wondered what explorers thought when they went to new and unchartered areas, and then allowed that thought to leave just as quickly as it came – this was no Robinson Crusoe trip and my city-girl side was being too loud. We were, afterall, only a few kilometres from the car.

I followed his footsteps as he led the way through the thick path. I wondered if his legs were getting scratched like mine from all the growth surrounding us. I didn’t want to be a spoiled sport and ruin any of this, so I kept my mouth shut, but I really hoped that we would get there soon. I also fleatingly wondered how I would be able to walk back through this brush on the return trip. Oh please, let there be another path back to the car, I said to myself.

Up ahead, he all of a sudden stopped on the path, grabbed the camera, turned around and snapped a shot. I don’t even know what he took a picture of. He pointed the camera my way and snapped a few more. I turned around to see what was behind me, and didn’t seen anything in particular. I turned back towards him.
“What’s going on?”, I called.
“You look heavenly, that’s all”, he said.
“Give me a break, I look like shit and I need a bathroom” I replied.
“Princess, do you need me to build a toilet for you before you can go?”, he sang out.
“Come on.. help me out… everything here is itchy, are you sure there isn’t poison ivy here?”

He switched gears, saw the look on my face and helped me find a half-decent spot away from the potential itch and scratchy areas. He wandered back towards the path to give me privacy and when I was done and returned, he picked up the camera and began snapping again.
“Are you taking those strange pictures again?” I asked looking at the strange angles he seemed to be using.
“Yup.”
“You getting any good ones?”
“You look fabulous. You’d look even better if….”
“I look best with clothes, my Prince.”
“…with the emperor’s new clothes, Princess” and with that, he walked up to me and said, “close your eyes, I have a surprise”.

I had no idea what to expect, and obeyed with a bit of anxiety and anticipation. I felt his hands on either side of my face as he said softely and tenderly, “Princess, you look beautiful, but you stink.” I opened my eyes wide, just as he began to run from me, as he yelled “Last one into the lake…. is last!”. It was only now that I noticed the path had changed and the clearing before me showed a crystal blue-green lake that sparkled like none other I had ever seen before.

I used my sprinter legs and kicked it into gear.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 16, 2008

Memories are Fading

My memories are fading
And I wish they wouldn’t
I want to cherish the thoughts
And the feelings too

I have a general fuzzy feeling
That it was fabulous and grand
That we travelled the world
And our own world too

From head to toe
From coast to coast
We did, didn’t we?
How did it go?

I wish I could remember
Every detailed laugh and smile
Every time you whispered nonsense
Just to get in close

My mind now plays tricks
I can’t remember with clarity
The incredible feelings and thoughts
That went with our flow

Sometimes I wish I could rewind
A perfectly stored copy
To experience once again
The events as they unfold before me.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 14, 2008

Invisible Town

We had been driving for hours enjoying the sights, sounds, and familiarity of being in the car and at peace. We didn’t need to say anything, or do anything. We just were. The radio was on and we flipped through multiple country music stations while I smiled thinking this seemed like such a silly stereotype. My mind turned to the past few days and everything we had seen and heard but I had to forget about them because today was yet another new day with another new adventure. I could feel it in my blood.

We were driving through the Canadian prairies heading towards the rockies. We had already passed the Saskatchewan/Alberta border and I knew we were getting close. The sign said, Drumheller, 56km and although I couldn’t see anything in the distance, I didn’t think anything further of it.

The next sign said Drumheller, 34km. The land was still flat and there was absolutely nothing in front of me. I sat up a little straighter and strained my eyes to look a little further. I looked ahead, I looked a bit to the right and left. I scanned the horizon for something, anything – and found nothing. The land continued ahead as if Drumheller did not exist. All I saw was the continuing two-lane highway on flat prarie land.

I didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t sure I could believe my eyes. I looked to my partner in crime and he shrugged. I knew better than to ask him anything because he wouldn’t give anything away. I didn’t know if he knew why my eyes were deceiving me, but I also knew he wanted me to experience everything for the first time, like a child, and in awe. That’s how he lived.

Every sign that came up with a progressively smaller number seemed to indicate we were going in the right direction. And it wasn’t like there was another road to turn onto – I simply could not piece together the information. It did not make sense. I could not see Drumheller ahead of me, or around me.

17km to Drumheller – nothing.  9km to Drumheller – still nothing in site and no change – the town is invisible, I thought. 5km to Drumheller… and the road began to descend. We dropped in altitude and the road wound deeper and further into a mysterious land that seemed as though it belonged only in Wonderland. I felt like the car fell down the rabbit hole and all of a sudden, I saw with new-found eyes at this wondrous world surrounding me on all sides. It is as if this land rised up above me when I wasn’t looking, and magically, I forgot about everything else.  We were in dinosaur country.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 13, 2008

Twelve Colours

Fluffy blue skies
Flirty red thoughts
Frivolous pink centres
Frenzied green spots

Fallen orange mists
Ferocious yellow cones
Frayed purple pansies
Forked brown stones

Feeble grey entities
Fickle rainbow gums
Forgetful black boundaries
Friendly white welcomes

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 6, 2008

You

You’ve gotten under my skin,
You’ve seen me bare my soul,
You want so much more from me,
Than I think I’m ready to give.

I’m fearful of the future,
I’m fearful of the past,
I want so much to be what you need,
Without losing anymore.

Give me the strength to choose the path
Give me the courage to go through
With what I know is my destiny
My destiny with you.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | May 5, 2008

The trip, #1

I pull out of the drive-through with my extra-large coffee and savour the aroma and flavour. For once, I’m not exactly in a rush, and I wonder why I didn’t actually stop the car, and enjoy the coffee in the coffee-shop. I guess when you’re on autopilot and normally in a rush, you don’t stop to think. Nevertheless, it’s too late – I’m already back in gear, and driving up the ramp to the highway. It’ll be another 4 hours before I get to my destination and to be honest, I’m already a little bored.

I flip a few stations looking for a half decent song and I hear one that reminds me of someone – it takes me back and reminds me of how free he made me feel. He used to hold my hand and help me explore my own reality to see just how far to the edge I could go. He showed me that I did not need to fear the unknown, and that with his guidance, I could experience a whole new world in the comfort of his arms.

I remember on a Tuesday morning, I answered the phone after showering and was surprised to hear him suggest a trip. I was getting ready for work and was in fact running a little late. I asked him if this could wait – we could talk about it later when I wasn’t so rushed. I was so focused on the time, and the day-to-day crud called work. He made me stop and listen: “You have a choice – you can choose to live your life the way you want to, or you can choose to live your life according to someone else’s rules. If you think that your time is better spent going to work today, then please continue and I’ll get out of your way.”

Who was I kidding? I go to work all the time. I know what’s at work – not much. There’s no future there. If I chose to go to work, I would wonder for the rest of my life, what this trip could have been.

I said “Okay, when are we leaving, where are we going and for how long?”

I left a voicemail for my boss at work and claimed something about a last minute family problem and kept it really vague – I made sure I included something about ‘female matters’ to ensure the boss wouldn’t ask any detailed questions because he was so easily embarassed.

I packed a bag with essentials, and a range of clothes. I really didn’t know what I needed and all he told me was that he expected we’d be gone a few days (what is that, three?) and that we’d travel by car (the weather can’t change that much?). It didn’t matter. I’ve experienced enough with him to know that he didn’t have a detailed plan – we were going to let the roads simply take us.

- Daisy

Posted by: Daisy | April 9, 2008

Help me learn

Help me learn to walk
And eventually learn to run
Taking little steps towards
The edges of my comfort zone.

Help me learn to side-step fear
In my quest for discovery
With your hand holding mine
I will excitedly accept this adventure.

Help me learn to accept
All that is
Whether understood or not
And I will in turn learn to love unconditionally.

- Daisy

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